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Giving Closure in a Healthy Way - Think Before You Block

Someone recently blocked me because they weren't happy that I had to cut the budget, but I didn't see any revenue or leads so I couldn't justify the cost. There may have been other things that bothered that person, and I wanted to have a conversation because that's the healthy approach. It's easy to avoid, block, and run away, but you make the same pattern with someone else. It's much easier to block or ghost a person without telling them why. But, how unfair is it to them? I'm talking about a person that did not harm you, and you are in pain that you decide to avoid the conflict or uncomfortable conversation.


Don't block them if someone pisses you off or isn't giving you what you want. You may think they are not treating you right because your needs are not being met, or you feel disappointed in yourself, but isn't it better to look into why you are mad at them? Do you have tendencies with anger outbursts? Anger is a compulsive tendency when it becomes used as a weapon repetitively. There is a big chance you are sad and disappointed in yourself. Even if you are building resentment, it always comes back to, what is your part in the resentment. What role did you play to have that resentment?


It's so much more comfortable to avoid talking to someone you are mad or resentful at. It's easy to overreact and then block out anger or fear. Reacting over responding is what we call a trigger response, which means you have some wounds that were pushed. Did the situation bring up something that happened to you in the past? Are you afraid to confront or avoid conflict for a reason? Or are you anxious about conflict, fearful of rejection, or what the other person will say? Once you realize what is going on with yourself, have a conversation with the person because they deserve that respect.


This exercise will help you objectively look at the situation. Write down what you are resentful about, what it's impacting (your loveability, fear of intimacy, anxiety, perfectionism etc.), and your part. By your part I mean are you hurting, feeling like you have let the person down, feeling fear of your financial situation etc.?


I am asking this question because talking about our mistakes and apologizing is so terrifying, especially if you fear abandonment or are one to seek approval. It's not about how the other person responds or if they even accept your apology. It's about cleaning your side of the street and making it better, so you'll be able to handle it the next time you are in this situation. Do you want to continue repeating the same pattern or change your behavior?

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