The Danger of Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to others is a recipe for unhappiness. Compare leads to despair, and it's easy to do when looking at Instagram, TicToc, or Facebook. I learned that there will always be someone more beautiful, brighter, more prosperous, faster at learning than me and the list goes on. Early in recovery, I often judged myself for not sharing enough or sharing too much, or wishing I spoke like someone else in the meetings. I didn't like myself because I wasn't living up to what I believed to be true about others.
YOU CAN'T JUDGE YOUR INSIDES BY OTHER PEOPLE'S OUTSIDES
Today I know that I can't judge my insides by other people's outsides. We're all doing the best we can. I learned that I have value just as I am.
JEALOUSLY SABOTAGES RELATIONSHIPS
When you feel less than others, you are subject to jealousy. In this shame trap, it's easy to attract someone who will treat you the same way you feel about yourself, which is "not enough." This person may be abusive and have compulsive behaviors, like alcoholism, gambling, anger, food, or sex. When you don't feel good enough, your partner has to reassure you repeatedly, and is doomed to helplessness and hopelessness every time you experience and express your jealousy.
HOW DOES JEALOUSY SHOW UP IN YOUR LIFE?
How does jealousy harm you?
How does being jealous affect others adversely and block intimacy?
Are you ready to remove jealousy and learn to live without it?
If not, what are you gaining by holding onto jealousy?